Did You Have a Bad Day?

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Did You Have a Bad Day?

If you think you had a bad day - check out the guy in the photo -- Wang Dong -- Not only would it suck to have that name - he is wanted by the FBI for conspiring to commit computer fraud against companies in the US.

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Not A Bitch At All

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Not A Bitch At All

Beginning yesterday at 5pm, I changed roles from GB to Blackburn College Trustee. We started with a reception at the President's home, a dinner and then the Baccalaureate service. The first picture is of all the trustees robing in the green room for the service last night.

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The Burpee Continues

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The Burpee Continues

Check out Funk Roberts doing burpees in this link -- I am not sure the link is copying correctly so if you just google Funk Roberts Burpee you will find a shirtless man in dark gym trunks -- that's the link to click on!

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Fries vs. Burpees

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Fries vs. Burpees

See the picture below - provided to me by Gayle Kamerer Rediger. Wow -- for Mother's Day at Der Wienie I did eat some fries - chili cheese fries and a chili cheese dog to be exact -- I think that would take half a million burpees to burn off - and it did take a lot of Tums to just survive the rest of the day!!

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Pickle Ball

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Pickle Ball

The picture below is of Jack explaining pickle ball and me looking skeptical. I looked it up on Wikipedia - because everything I read on the internet should be true......... here is what they had to say about this sport

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Mother's Day

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

As Kate Keller Maggio already pointed out we had a very nice Mothers Day -- I mean how can you beat Weinerschnitzel followed by horrible indigestion - and a trip to Prairie Gardens --- where a woman in a sleeveless t-shirt, with tattoos yelled "here it is!" - she was talking about the fairy garden section -- she looked and acted more like an ogre (no offense Shrek and Fiona) and when she yelled at her 4-5 year old daughter -- "Get your ass over here" that was the real kicker -- nice Mothers Day talk --- kids are a privilege not a right - you wretched old cow.

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Party Crasher

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Tonight I crashed a party at the home of Chad Ebbert - it was in honor of his brother's 30th birthday -- Happy Birthday Byron Ebbert!! Byron wanted me to use as many bad words as possible when I wrote tonight --- it made me think of something we use to recite at swim meets.......

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Gym Attire

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Gym Attire

A loyal reader sent this in, and while he is male and this is hot pink - I do think it is acceptable to wear to the gym -- as long as it is covering your jiggly parts -- on this particular man - I do not think he has jiggly arms - so he is good to go!!

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Gas Station Hotdog

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Gas Station Hotdog

A Gym Bitch reader commented yesterday and reminded me of a funny story...............

It is a little known fact that the Gym Bitch is perfectly comfortable dining at a five star restaurant, but is equally happy to eat gas station food.

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Miracle Whip

Friday, April 25, 2014

Miracle Whip

This is especially funny since I ate a bit of egg salad I made with expired Miracle Whip today...

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Surviving The Garage Salers

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Surviving The Garage Salers

I'm back.......................(use your Poltergeist voice)

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Navy Warship

Monday, April 7, 2014

One of the many things wrong with our government.............in yesterday's Champaign Urbana News Gazette there was an article from the AP about a family trying to circumnavigate the globe in a sail boat. A couple with a one year old and a three year old..........

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Door to Door Jesus

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Door to Door Jesus

Unless you truly believe that you may find Jesus behind my couch, there is no need to come discuss religion on my front porch.

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I Hate Clowns

Thursday, April 3, 2014

I Hate Clowns

In talking with Heather Smith Tucker and deciding that we will go see a couple of the films at Ebertfest -- the topic of clowns came up. One of the films is a silent movie about a man whose life sucks, so he joins the circus as a clown. His act involves him being slapped repeatedly. I am terrified of clowns. I like the premise of this film. I think they should remake it, because today they could also kick him in the balls repeatedly. That would be a good film.

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Talking Pet

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

First of all let me say that today marks 6 months since my infamous first date with Sparky. Thanks in large part to Heather Smith Tucker I have not yet swung the wrecking ball at this relationship.........it's a long story -- if you know me well -- you totally understand my intense personality -- if you only know from reading this, well you can only imagine what a peach I am.

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The Jerk

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Jerk

If you have seen the movie, The Jerk, starring Steve Martin you will get this --- if not, too bad.

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Dump Time

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Dump Time

Readers please weigh in on this question........ Why do some people take so long in the bathroom??

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People In My Yard

Saturday, March 29, 2014

People In My Yard

As many of you may know, my current residence is on the market. I still live in this home. So riddle me this............if a for sale sign is in the yard, does that give free reign to strangers to wander around your yard??

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  moving

The Bitch Is Moving

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

My apologies for going AWOL again --- I am in the process of moving - within the same community - but no matter how hard I try to move objects with my mind, and regardless of how many spells I have cast -- the old house is still packed with my crap - and it is not jumping into the car and moving itself.

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Shopping with The Bitch

Saturday, March 22, 2014

I came to grips with the fact long ago that if I ventured past black pants and shirts, or jeans and sweatshirts, that I really need to see the outfit hanging together in the store to put things together. Easier yet is to have personal shoppers. As a kid we had them in the major department stores -- today they are some of my well put together friends.

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Fast Paced Friday Night

Friday, March 21, 2014

Some of you may wonder -- What does Gym Bitch do on a Friday night?? Surely, she can't have many friends with that attitude?? But wait, she does have a boyfriend.......

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Midol for Men?!

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Midol for Men?!

Two of my readers have brought up the topic of the effects of Midol on the male ejaculation. Actually one friend told that another friend had Midol in his medicine cabinet and when ask why, he said to enhance his cum shots. Well maybe not those exact words, but close enough. He is not a porn star. Not that I know of. I do know one porn star. I digress.

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The Bitch is Back!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Sorry for the long delay in writing -- too much going on......but I will keep you posted on new and exciting developments with Gym Bitch!!

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Meeting Etiquette

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Meeting Etiquette

"AM I SPEAKING ENGLISH?" "CAN ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME IF I AM SPEAKING ENGLISH?" Have you ever been in a meeting, addressed someone with a question and gotten a completely nonsensical answer. Or the person just talks in circles with words that do not answer the question??

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Traveling Bitch

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Traveling Bitch

If your ass is the size of a buffalo don't wear hot pink sweat pants to travel in. If you don't understand "secure your purse under your arm, it can't sit on the middle of the plane floor", stay home.

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Dear Gym Bytch

Friday, March 7, 2014

The Best Machine in the Gym

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Duck DyNASTY App

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Duck DyNASTY App

This is what can happen to you when your aunt is the Gym Bytch - you get to watch Duck Dynasty and download the DD Beard Booth.....

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FYIB

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

For Your Information, Bytch

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My New Pink Button

Monday, March 3, 2014

My New Pink Button

Human Anatomy...I had not thought about labial color loss........maybe I don't have it yet.

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Dear Gym Bytch

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Pole dancing at a whole new level.

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