Tonight I crashed a party at the home of Chad Ebbert - it was in honor of his brother's 30th birthday -- Happy Birthday Byron Ebbert!! Byron wanted me to use as many bad words as possible when I wrote tonight --- it made me think of something we used to recite at swim meets.......
Eat, bite, fuck, suck, gobble, nibble, chew. Nipple, bosom, hairpie, finger fuck, screw. Moose piss, cat putter, orangutang tit, sheep's pussy, camel crap, big lion shit!
I have no idea where we got that -- but we use to say it all the time -- I have added punctuation so you know where to take a breath! I also know a lot more bad words - but I wanted to share those! Be warned though -- the Bitch will talk about anything - but if you have been anywhere near a sheep's pussy - keep that shit to yourself - I will not comment on that. I will call someone and suggest you be locked up.
The party was quite fun and very educational. I learned that after the age of 50 men should sit down to pee, because you never know what will come out the back end. I assume having to go badly could lead to sharting. Sharting = thinking you have to fart but then shitting instead.
We talked about shexting. That is texting while you shit -- multitasking is always good. Better to text while you shit then just sit there and play Candy Crush.
We discussed vaginas, penises, nice racks (that should not be wasted on gay men) and partying naked. I left that to the young folks -- we old folks all left because we had to let our dogs out. That is not a euphemism - we all actually have dogs --- and we prefer they not pee on the floor or take a dump in the house........we are old and set in our ways.
Men like to pee in the yard - and generally don't care who is around - their back is to you - and they keep talking --- it's like if you turn around and talk - then it is socially acceptable to take a piss in a person's yard. I can appreciate that -- If someone is facing me, talking and peeing - they could pee on me -- then I would have to take them out.
Love,
The Gym Bitch