Today the first sight upon walking into the gym was a man with the sweatiest sweatpants I have ever seen – there were giant wet spots on his ass, down his thighs, behind his knees, even on his calves – I have never seen anything quite like that.  The back of his shirt was drenched too. 

I am not pointing this out to berate him --- as it turns out 90% of the people working out were men, many were terribly sweaty and my mind wanders terribly when I am working out.  I don’t know how many of you that read this have the same affliction I have – I know at least a couple of you do – but my brain races almost all the time.  Usually in 27 different directions that are totally unrelated.  It’s very tiring. 

Today I spent 35 minutes on the elliptical to start and here is the thought train:

(Football was on – Illini scored early against Northwestern) – I wonder if Tim Beckman will keep his job.  And what sort of idiotic bowl game will we go to.  These bowl games are so watered down it’s a joke – the “everybody gets a medal” mentality that has turned our country into a bunch of simpering nut sacs. 

(I decide to look at another tv about black Friday shopping) – Thank God I didn’t go shopping yesterday.  Some fat slob in pink XXL spandex would have pushed me or bumped with her giant camel toe and I would have had to go ape shit on her.  Somebody would have been going down. I could fucking kill people in crowded stores.

(It’s why I don’t shop on Black Friday) 

(Now getting some text messages and listening to a play list on my phone I had not listened to in some time – Sex On Fire comes on – it mentions oral sex in a car) – God, how gross would it be to have oral sex with one of these sweaty ass men?  And tea bagging would take on a whole new meaning – I mean that shit would just stick right to your forehead. But on a clean person that is a good way to pass time in the car – of course I could never condone that – I think it’s illegal. 

(Next song is Something In Your Mouth by Nickelback) – even I’m not going to write this out as it pertains to current thought……….but flashback to Vegas when the girls and I saw Nickelback – excellent show – love Vegas – haven’t been in almost a year.  I need to travel more.  Wait, I am starting new businesses, I can’t plan a ton of travel – well soon once I get those underway.  I have to get a plane.

So that all took place over the course of three songs on my iPhone – and I greatly condensed it – then I thought more about business --- there is no such thing as being too pretty, a car too fast, having too much money or too much fun.  I have that sort of fucked up – it’s song lyrics too.

Love,

The Gym Bytch.