• If your ass is the size of a buffalo don't wear hot pink sweat pants to travel in.
• If you can't tell which seat is A,B or C, and the chart above every fucking row doesn't clue you in, stay home.
• If you don't understand "secure your purse under your arm, it can't sit on the middle of the plane floor", stay home.
• If you are the stupid fuckstick that did both of these things, think about running a white hot poker through your eye socket into your brain. Your brain is either nonexistent or completely worthless anyway.
• As if to prove my point, the dumb bitch mentioned above, stood up and was hunched over due to low clearance above the seats, stood there a second then quickly stood straight and smashed her head into the overhead baggage compartment. Sadly I did not have a white hot poker to offer her.

Love,
The Gym Bitch

picture from MoreSugarFor.Me