I got back last night just before midnight from a trip to Palm Springs, CA where I visited the fabulous Marty and Ken. I could totally move out there!

Marty and I met in DFW – he was flying back from a visit with his folks in Florida – and we were on the same flight into PSP.  We had a lovely dinner then went home and had wine, got settled in and started chatting……….. 

Monday morning we all three got up and went to the gym……….while there were many similarities to any gym, any where –there were some new things………

There was Turbo Butt – pictured below………….I’m not sure his ass was real – I have never seen anything like it – and those euro shorts (I had no idea what those were until a friend filled me in) – and the dance moves he employed between sets were nothing short of astounding – his package was a barely there fellow though so rather anticlimactic from the front – but if you are an ass man this is your guy!! And the knee socks added that certain school girl naughtiness! I wanted to try to bounce my water bottle off of it, but Ken had sense enough to intervene in that potential lawsuit. 

So as not to be sexist with my gawking – and there were some packages on display there --- there were also some odd women – one in fact was walking the track in her capris and patent leather, pointy toe dress flats.  Another woman who appeared to be 85 years old and stoned out of her gourd showed up 15 minutes late for yoga class, stayed about 10 minutes and left.

Even if this high-class city there was still a plethora of furry shouldered, stick legged, sweaty assed, self righteous, bad-mannered, turtle sporting, douche bags.  But there was also a little more eye candy – and quite frankly as a middle-aged woman, whose tree no one was barking up, I felt oddly comfortable just gawking unashamedly.  I even took time to chose my piece of cardio equipment to perch myself on for this cavalcade of meat that was parading around. I did not have a bad time at this gym.

So aside from great friends, amazing food, fantastic shopping, mountains, desert and perfect temperatures – there are also more home consignment stores than I have ever seen in my life. These rich fuckers, and by that I mean, ass-loads of cash – apparently just get rid of all their shit and start over about once a year – and I mean they get rid of everything. All the furniture, the art work, the patio furniture, the chandeliers and the accessories – it all goes – and then the rest of us can buy it at greatly reduced prices from what we would pay retail – it really is a whole other world that I may need to research more – not only those that get rid of it all – but those that are there pawing through it. 

Anyway – loved it and I will be going back!!

Don’t forget to come see me live and in person Sunday night at 5pm at Boltini in Champaign – and Marty and Ken – lets work on getting me some gigs out there – I think the Bytch can play anywhere!

 Love,

The Gym Bytch