Tonight while at a holiday dinner party conversation got a little raunchy.  Under normal circumstances you would not consider any of these people to be raunchy (well with the exception of perhaps me) but in a group – it gets a little racy!! And one of these lovely people opened my eyes to a new tradition that I may adopt next year.  Whore in the Drawer.  At my house she would replace Elf on the Shelf because, quite frankly, I find the elves a little frightening.

I found this example pictured here on Pinterest and the caption below read:

“Twerk the Night Before Christmas was an interesting addition to the holiday musical last night.  After that performance, Rudolph is no longer going to be the only one going down in history” 

Love this!!!!! And it brings me to another topic I promised a reader I would cover – Holiday Orgy Etiquette. 

First of all “The Holidays” refers to the day of Thanksgiving through January 2. This can be a very stressful time for people, and what better way to let off a little steam than a holiday orgy.  But there are rules – although during The Holidays they are less stringent than at other times.  You should supply your revelers with plenty of liquor – liquid courage. Some folks may not need it, that’s ok too.  We are not ever pushing excessive liquor consumption. 

As the host or hostess (best is to have one of each) of a holiday orgy you should have lots of mistletoe strewn about.  Hanging from doorways, attached to headbands, and some on sticks that people can put in their pants.  This works as an icebreaker and as long as what you are kissing is under mistletoe there is no harm and no foul can be called. The kissing usually loosens people up – and you should try to kiss as many as possible. Please do not leave anyone out…from here is will go in all sorts of directions so the easiest thing to do is give you a list of simple rules.

1.     If you are ill – cold, flu, venereal disease, graciously decline the invitation.

2.     Please perform excellent hygiene and grooming prior to attending.

3.     Bring gum and/or breath mints

4.     If you bring a date/spouse/significant other make sure they are on board.

5.     Domestic disputes will not be tolerated and the host and hostess will only ask you once to leave. 

6.     Drinking to the point of vomiting is never acceptable and will result in immediate expulsion from the party. (same goes for bathroom accidents)

7.     It is the responsibility of the host and hostess not to invite any repulsive people.  If they do, they need to tend to them, and they shall be excluded from the next orgy.

8.     Use proper protection.

9.     Be kind to the less experienced and offer gentle guidance.

10.  Unless everyone is into BDSM, abstain.

11.  If you use toys, the host and hostess should have proper cleansers in the bathrooms and all toys should be thoroughly cleansed after you use them.

12. There is no crying allowed. You may experience joy. Other emotions should not come into play. 

That really about covers it --- Holiday Time is like being at sea – rules are loose.

Just make sure you have on your own underpants when you leave, call a cab and enjoy a little time basking in the holiday afterglow.

Love,

The Gym Bytch