The other night those of us that were banished to the kids table talked about penises.  One of the topics was micro penis.  I have told you before that this is a real thing – I need you all to weigh in on this topic --- is there a worse fate that can befall a male?? 

I’ve opened your eyes to the 100 lb scrotum, I have discussed the abnormally large penis – and where does he think he’s going with that thing??  Just has confounding though is where are you going to go and what are you going to do with a pint sized package – one that is less than 2.5” fully erect…………….. 

How do you broach that topic?  Hi, my name is Barney and that’s not the top of a Q-tip, I’m just happy to see you?  I suggest you get to know a woman or man well, dazzle them with your charming personality and quick wit before you ever contemplate bringing this up (bad choice of words but I’m going to go with it).  You might also want to get real handy with other parts of your body – cause fellas – if they told you it wasn’t the size of the ship, but the motion in the ocean they were lying.  That dinghy isn’t going to cut it.

The upside to an infant sized member??  You save a lot on lubricant – little dab will do ya!!  Your arm never gets tired from masturbating (but your fingers may cramp up a little).  You don’t ever have that awkward bulge in your pants.  It doesn’t matter if you dress left or right – that little bugger is always right in the middle!  It doesn’t have to turtle in when the temps drop; it’s already tucked in there.

I’m guessing that no man has ever felt too bad about himself if his partner says “Honey, I just can’t do this, your dick is too big!”  But I’m guessing having a teeny weenie makes you feel horrible – you have my condolences, never my phone number, but definitely my condolences. 

Love,

The Gym Bytch