Today I had a mani/pedi – I scheduled it a month ago, and while I should not have taken the time away from my business endeavors I did it anyway. The Bytch has a rough life. Part of the reason was that I was shamed into keeping the appointment by Cupcake, my tattoo artist.  He made comments about the rough state of my feet while working on my dragon outline on Monday night --- really nice to have a 26 year old hottie complaining about that while causing you a great deal of pain!  

Anyway, in many ways he is correct – if I am going to pay money to have art on my feet – both are now tattooed – I should take better care of them.  Go ahead – take a look at your own feet --- are your toenails trimmed??  Do you have cracks and calluses??  You may need to get a pedicure too – because let me tell you this – most people have nasty ass feet.  I knew a woman once who dated a guy whose toenails were so long that they clicked on the linoleum when he walked in their apartment.  I would have beat him to death with a shovel rather than have him in my home – and she was having sex with this troll.  If that were my only option I would never get laid again!  I am very particular about feet --- if I ever actually let you put your feet on me, you either have really nice feet, I am unconscious or your feet are barely passable but there are other parts of you that maintain my interest. 

So this week I am touting the benefits of manicures and pedicures and the fun in having art on your body!!  While manicures and pedicures take no thought at all – just get them – tattoos take a lot of thought.  Do not get a tattoo where gravity will take its toll.  If you want to show people your tattoo – don’t get one on a hideous part of your body that no one wants to look at tattooed or otherwise.  If you want a side piece or somewhere like that – don’t have folds of fat – I mean gross – does the artist have to stretch that shit out to work on it??  And then you ruin the picture anyway – unless --- and this is a great idea – if you have rolls of fat – you could get a tattoo like the old back page of the Mad Magazine – where it was one picture smoothed out, but a completely different picture if you folded it in half!!

 Yet another public service announcement brought to you by The Bytch.

Love,

The Gym Bytch