There was a lot going on today……….first of all I started off happy, due to a very interesting exchange that has been going on for the past 30 or so hours……….very interesting and none of your business yet.

Then I had to go to a funeral - very sad. It was a gentleman in his 80's that I have known my whole life. You can say that he had a good, long life, he did. He was still a father, grandfather, great grandfather, brother and friend. I always cry at funerals. Weddings too. I'm not always a bitch. I will offer you this tidbit of advice, having experienced my share of death…..keep your comments about how someone should handle grief to yourself. It is a personal and private experience - and I think that grieving people should be allowed to open up a can of whoop ass on you if you decide to critique their grieving. No retaliation. No ramifications. You just get an unadulterated ass kicking.

Then it was back to happy as I met with the website design team…….here is a sneak peek of what is to come………oh hell. I was going to show you but I can't get the damn logo to upload. I frequently and vehemently hate technology, except when it works - then it's great!

Then back to sad, when I found my favorite koi dead in the filter of the pond. Yes. I have a favorite koi. This was my favorite looking fish. I also have my funniest fish - he comes half way out of the water under the waterfall and lets it beat on him for a bit then he swims away, and comes back and does it again. My other koi, while attractive, have yet to establish their personalities. I know a lot of people like that. If I name a koi after you it could be because you are funny, or pretty or just dull.

Carrying my dead fish into the house made me think about people that have terrible handshaking skills. Dead fish like. (Seriously?? Is this the first time you have realized that my brain is stuck in free association mode?) So here is some homework. Learn to give a good firm handshake. If you have clammy, sweaty hands, just pretend to have a cold and say "Oh, I've been blowing my nose all day, I really shouldn't shake hands with you". And yes, for the PC people that read this just to get pissed off, I understand that someone may have a "condition". If you are unsure of your handshaking ability and you see me out somewhere, ask me to shake hands with you. I will give you my clear and concise opinion. I hate bad handshakes, it makes me want to crush your limp, wimpy hand.

I hate bad hugs too. If you can't hug worth a damn, don't do it. It's just awkward. Another public service recommendation, free of charge.

Love, The Gym Bitch