I am going to admit something that I never thought would happen.  I am reading the final book in the Fifty Shades trilogy.  I refused to read it even though it was apparently read by millions – I found the first book at a garage sale for 50 cents and decided that it was worth that much, and only that much!

Well I was correct.  The story line has promise – it has steamy romance that everyone should experience at least once – well not necessarily as a Dom or a Sub – but just the melt in your pants feeling you get during that early stage of a relationship.  The dom/sub thing adds what could be an interesting twist – if this woman could write worth a damn.   She uses the same descriptive phrases over and over again – and I mean over and over.  Each of these books is over 500 pages long, and these two people have more sex than horny hamsters. I understand that they are in their 20’s, but everyone needs time to reload.  Virtually every orgasm the female character has is described by saying “I exploded around him”.  For him it is “he found his release”.  When discussing the woman’s vagina she uses “sex”.  For example, “He ran his hand down my stomach, through my pubic hair (pre full Brazilian days I guess) and onto my sex”.  

Fifteen hundred pages of this………….fuck me – if you can’t think of more ways to talk about two people getting their rocks off – don’t write a mother fucking soft porn book.  If you need help with words for vagina, etc. – go to the Humane Sexuality class at Indiana University – I taught a discussion section.  The first night of class I wrote four words on the board and divided the class into 4 groups and assigned them penis, vagina, intercourse or masturbation.  They had 20 minutes to come up with all the euphemisms they could think of and then they had to read them out loud.  I was trying to desensitize them so we could actually talk about human sexuality without everyone turning red and giggling. 

I could write soft porn with lots of different words.  Hell I could write hard core shit, but a lady has her limits. 

Love

The Gym Bytch