I still can’t get into decorating for Christmas this year.  Someone told me they would come decorate my house for me but apparently the spirit has left them as well – because my house is not decorated at all! I even told them they could decorate with their clothes on, although I felt nude decorating would be more inspirational.

 I think I have decided that there are enough decorations on my block………the Halloween decorators have had the same idea for Christmas.  Lots of plastic doodads in the yard.  To be specific – in a straight line – in this order – they have: 

Snowman-Snowman-Snowman-Snowman-choir boy – choir boy – green and red dinosaur-choir boy – choir boy – pink flamingo(with Santa hat)-Snowman – pink flamingo (again with Santa hat). 

These are the old hard plastic snowmen and choir boys, a soft looking dinosaur and the wire frame/garland flamingos – in a line up – like they committed a crime.  And quite frankly they did.  I’m going to look for a plastic light up Baby Jesus and squeeze him in between a choir boy and the first flamingo – there is actually space in the line – I have no idea why there is a break in the line – but it’s there. 

And yes, I did take a picture, while pulled over in my car – I mean it makes no sense at all so I wasn’t sure I could remember the line up without photographic evidence. 

If these were elderly people I might not be making fun of this – but I am pretty sure these people are younger than I am.  I am going to issue them some sort of decorating citation – Disparate Arrangement, Mixing Religion with Schlock, there have to be regulations. Putting a Santa hat on it does not make it a Christmas ornament.

I wonder if this couple agrees on the decorating or if there is a domestic dispute while the crap is getting lined up and plugged in.  Hard to tell – maybe people with bad taste are drawn to one another.  

Screw the whore in the drawer next year (hahaha!) I’m going to get life-sized mannequins and do Whore Around The House scenes in the yard.  Don’t worry – I will put Santa hats or elf shoes on all of them!!

I bet people will sign up to help with this decorating day – I will serve cocktails and we will create festive scenes around the yard! (Must have a hot glue gun to participate)

Love,

The Gym Bytch