I received the best Christmas gift in the mail yesterday from my step daughter!!  It is a cookbook!!  All of you that know me just collectively said “What the fuck? She doesn’t cook.”  And you would all be right. Until now! The official title is Thug Kitchen eat like you give a fuck  published by Rodale and written by Thug Kitchen, LLC. 

Inside the front cover is a quote from Julia Child (loved her!!) “The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.”  Perfect!!

One more quote from the opening chapter:

“Welcome to Thug Kitchen, bitches. We’re here to help. We started our website to inspire motherfuckers to eat some goddamn vegetables and adopt a healthier lifestyle. Our motto is simple: EAT LIKE YOU GIVE A FUCK.”

These people actually wrote a cookbook for me.  I can’t fucking believe it.  I am going to read it cover to cover and I am going to cook every recipe in this book. I don’t care if it is a fucking shit show in my kitchen. This is a healthy way to start the new year. I eat pretty well most of the time – although having just spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day eating my body weight in peanut brittle and iced sugar cookies it is time to get serious about working out and clean eating. 

So far so good today. I worked out until I almost puked.  In true Gym Bytch fashion I was so pissed at myself for feeling out of shape that I just kept pushing until I almost threw up. I didn’t’. Don’t get your panties in a twist. That is a gym faux pas at its worst. If you do ever feel like you won’t make it to the restroom to hurl, and you are at the gym, pick someone that is dressed like a fuckwad and send them a message. If you vomit on me, or near me though, I am going to kick your ass.

Well, time to go read………….will I find a way to combine cooking with cum and thug kitchen? I’m guessing if you ejaculate on anything in the Thug Kitchen they just cut your dick off – so I would abstain from that. I don’t think the two mix. But if I find a way they could I will let you know.

Bon Appetite,

The Gym Bytch