I thought today I might gain some ground on the whole Christmas spirit thing – and I celebrate Christmas so that is what I am going to talk about – I don’t care what you celebrate, it is fine – but I won’t be talking about it. Anyway, I had to go to Chicago on business today (for those that are curious I am going back into the car business – now you can read me most days and soon you will be able to buy a car from me – pretty fucking exciting!!) so I drug along a friend and figured we would get in a little shopping. Shopping surely ought to put me in the spirit. I shopped. But only for myself – even that didn’t get me in the holiday mood – what the hell???
I even wandered through the handbag and shoe departments at Nordstoms – I did not touch a purse and I did not try on one pair of shoes. That I am blaming on Cupcake, my tattoo artist – he finished my dragon on my foot last night and it hurts like a son of a bitch – picture tomorrow.
My first shopping stop was Kiehl for all my facial products – I spent an absolute ass ton of money – that is due to the other career I am taking on – the independent film industry – as an executive producer – I am pretty sure we are going to be working on some very important films – so I may be attending premiers, going to film festivals, things of that nature. So it is time to get myself beat back into shape – at the gym, tackling my wrinkles, and I may call the plastic surgeon tomorrow. Ok – back to the shopping – the next stop was IKEA – votives, scissors, two stuffed pigs, a large rug for under the dining room table and another rug – which to be perfectly honest, I had forgotten where I wanted to put it by the time we got to the check out – but I bought it anyway. I blame that on the fact that Jamie hit me in the head with the giant rug he bought and it affected my memory. I will look around for a place to put it tomorrow.
Shopping did not fix my holiday blahs --- most likely that is due to the annoying fuckwads that are clogging up every aisle in every store I go into ---- for the last time – do you really need to stop in the middle of the mother fucking aisle while you ponder what ever it is you are pondering – which I’m sure is worthless –move your fat ass over to one side and ponder in a corner.
Here’s an odd sighting – Amish people in IKEA – I’m not making a statement one-way or the other – just reporting what I saw. Aside from the Amish there were just a lot of freaks in there that seemed to be pretending to be Scandinavian. I don’t know what that means exactly either, but it seems to mean – put on a stupid hat and wander around aimlessly.
Oh well, there is always tomorrow to get in the spirit.
The Gym Bytch