Let me first state that the illustration only covers the man in this story………….
I went to an orthopedic nurse practitioner today – I have severe pain in my hip and after several months it has gotten to the point where I can’t stand it anymore – so I made the appointment. I went in and started by having an x-ray – in case you don’t know this – that shows your bones – it would also show arthritic spurs – but it does not show soft tissue.
I went in to meet with the NP – he showed me the x-ray – nice round femoral head, nice space in the joint socket --- great – that means I am not a candidate for a replacement, that is ALL it means. It is ONE piece of a diagnosis. But this jack ass states “Well, it’s not your hip”.
GB: Well, then what is it? I’m pretty sure I can determine internal pain in my hip.
NP: It could be your back
GB: It could be soft tissue in my hip
NP: But pain can radiate from your back.
GB: I know that – I’ve had back surgery. I am very clear on my body parts and which ones are having pain.
NP: Well, it’s not your hip.
GB: You have no way of knowing that – you would have to see the soft tissue to determine if there are any tears or other soft tissue issues.
NP: You’re just not hearing what you want to hear.
GB: What I WANT is an actual diagnosis.
NP: I can give you a shot
GB: For what – you have no idea what the problem is for.
NP: It could be bursitis, tendonitis, who cares if the pain goes away.
GB: I do. I don’t want to mask something, I want to know what the issue is.
NP: Most people just want the pain to go away.
GB: I’m not most people.
NP: Your insurance company will want you to do physical therapy first, they won’t pay for an MRI
GB: Why would I do physical therapy? You don’t know what the problem is. My insurance is my problem, not yours. Can you diagnose this or not?
NP: I can request an MRI, but it will get turned down.
Well guess what mother fucker – the MRI with contrast is scheduled. It did not get turned down. Then they wanted to schedule me back in with this half wit – I said that there was no way I would ever speak to him again – so we got that fixed too!
The nurses, x-ray tech and administrative women were all great – but as soon as I could speak in medical terms and started asking questions this guy got shitty with me. Shocker of the day – I got shitty right back. Just because you have an NP behind your name or an MD, or any other cluster of letters is no reason to treat a person like they are a dumb ass. I am no dumb ass – I am a bitch – and he got my full wrath today. The CEO of the hospital will hear about it next, but he is always very nice to me – so he gets no bitchiness!
For every person like me that stands her ground, there are dozens and dozens that are to scared to ask questions, or aren’t sure they should, or don’t know what to ask…….I am standing up for all the people that can’t or won’t stand up for themselves, and if you need a good health care advocate – I’m your bitch!!
On the flip side, at an appointment with my bestie on Wednesday, she and I had all kinds of questions and her doctor was so excited to have people that had questions, wanted answers, wanted to hear reasons, and research – he was thrilled and said so!! He must be very comfortable with his manhood. The guy today must have a chode*.
The Gym Bytch
*Urban Dictionary defines chode as a short and stubby penis.