A few weeks ago I was in a local eating establishment and decided to hit the restroom before heading out on my 50 mile commute to one of my jobs. I sat down, 20 seconds later I could not stand up. I am pretty sure it was my body's way of saying "Hey fat ass, quit skipping the gym to jam in another meeting during the day!"
There is nothing quite like sitting there on a toilet, in a public place, contemplating who to call to come in and help you stand up…………………….that makes you realize you have to take of yourself - then worry about your appointments!
So back at the gym I am. Likely to the dismay of many, who have enjoyed working out without wondering if their absurd behavior will later be fodder for my blog. Not to worry. I don't have enough followers yet………..readers you can change that by sharing this!
Anyway, tonight I found myself in a water aerobics class. I was recently told by a surgeon that I have the spine of a "really old person" - so I've decided to sprinkle in pool time with my other workouts. This evening's instructor was cute, happy as could be, and I could not understand one fucking word she said. Nor could I tell what she was doing because she was in the pool, not up on the deck acting it out. So what does any normal 50 year old woman do when facing that situation? I kept moving! For awhile I pretended that I was performing in Riverdance - she was doing something quickly I just had no screaming clue what that was.
After my Riverdance performance, I pretended to be Tinkerbell - jumping up and doing the splits in midair over and over and over again. This is when I said to my friend Heather who was in the pool, pretending not to know me, that I was in fact pretending that I was Tinkerbell. To that she replied "In the pool, everyone's a ballerina". How true - being buoyant is great thing!
After that I turned into karate kid - we appeared to be kicking and chopping - so Daniel Son - I did just that. I am really writing this because I am curious what runs through peoples' minds as they work out…………..feel free to write in and let me know! Anyway, after I took over the dojo in my mind and won the pretend city championship in martial arts, I was totally distracted by a very odd woman that kept getting in my personal space. Lady - there is plenty of God damn room in the pool - don't be within arms reach of me!
I already have another entry in my head from a couple of days ago………..so you can look forward to that. Or not. I really don't care. I do this for me. Not for you. Well, maybe for you if you are one of the people that loves these musings.
The Gym Bytch